Decision Making
by Little-Butterfly-Bee
Summary: Alex is back in town and Olivia and Casey are taking a break. They each can't decide what, and who they want.
1. Insomnia Calling

**A/N Okay my first fic. Just a bit scared. Reviews are very welcome, but no fireys please. Thanks for reading. :)**

**I dedicate this chapter to my beta, best friend and real life Casey-Frizzle (Yes. She does have a full screen name but I've forgotten it all.)**

**The title came from a stupid tune I wrote while half asleep at 3.00 am. (Oh I feel like I'm falling, Insomnia's calling, I can't go to bed, The thoughts in my head, Please let me go to sleep. There's more but you get the picture.)**

**Oh and sadly I don't own anyone here. They're all Dick's. (Yes. Very childish.)**

**Chapter One-Insomnia Calling**

Olivia couldn't sleep. She had tried but yet she couldn't. She just had too much on her mind.

She wandered through to the kitchen, grabbed some cereal and turned on the TV. She needed to make a decision. Alex or Casey?

As she munched on her cereal she realised the irony of what she was wearing. Alex's t-shirt and Casey's track pants. She laughed. It was like she couldn't decide. Well actually that was the problem. She couldn't decide.

She sighed and leaned back on the couch. She thought back to the day that she met Casey. She wasn't even over Alex. But yet who would expect her to be? It had only been two weeks since she had lost Alex. She didn't want a new ADA. Didn't want anyone taking Alex's place. And then someone did. Casey Novak. Tall, confident, beautiful, smart. Everything Olivia loved, but yet she despised.

At first she thought she hated the bitch. Thought she was cold hearted, cruel. Thought she was trying to replace Alex. That was until the day when Casey found the kid locked inside the cooler. As Olivia saw the tears streaming down Casey's face as she carried the child to safety, she knew she loved her.

That was why she hated Casey. She made her want to forget Alex.

But yet, she could never forget Alex.

The day she lost Alex was the worst day of Olivia's life. One moment Alex had been alive. Drinking, talking, fooling around. The next she was dead. Her beautiful pale petite frame lying spread eagled on the ground. Olivia above her screaming "Alex! Alex!" But then just when Olivia thought she could take no more moments the next one happened. Alex was alive! Yes, she was still losing Alex to Witness Protection, but at least she was alive.

It took a day for the facts to sink in. She was standing in Alex's old office when she realised Alex wouldn't come back. Not now, maybe not ever. Shocked, she sank into Alex's desk chair and cried until Elliot came and carried her out.

Olivia began to cry again. Sinking into the couch she grabbed the phone from beside her and dialled the first number.

A sleepy voice answered "Yo, Stabler."

"Hey Elliot. You got a minute?"

"Yeah. Hey Liv. What's up?"

"Can't sleep."

Elliot laughed, "Know the feeling. So what else is up? You heard Alex is back in town?"

"Yeah. That's why I can't sleep. This whole new Alex-Casey thing."

"I wouldn't exactly call it new."

Olivia laughed, "Yeah. Well, what do you think I should do."

"Well go back to sleep for a start. It's 3.46 and we start work at 8."

"I knew you'd say that, but I can't."

"Trust me Liv. I know you can. I'll tell you what. Coffee, 7.30, my shout."

Olivia sighed in resignation, "Fine. It's on."


	2. Everywhere

**A/N Second chapter!**

**I'd like to dedicate this one to LOCISVU. Thanks so much for the review :).**

**The title of this chapter-Everywhere-is of course the song by Michelle Branch. It was on MAX just before and it inspired the title.**

**Oh and of course as usual I don't own the characters. I'm just stealing them for my own perverted amusement. **

**Thanks people! Please review!**

Decision Making-Chapter 2-Everywhere

Alex stood at the coffee bar. She also had a choice to make. She murmured her order to the barista (Latte, two sugars) and chose a corner booth next to the window. She sighed. Casey or Olivia?

She couldn't remember the last time she had been this confused. Five years at law school and ten on the field generally made for a stable person. Seemed as if she was the exception.

Alex stared out the window trying to clear her mind and think of the case which she had that day. Ugh. It wasn't working. Olivia and Casey were just too hard to forget.

She tried to think of the similarities and differences between them. There was Olivia-Beautiful, predictable, funny, honest. Then there was Casey-Gorgeous, completely unpredictable, serious and secretive.

She wished there was a way she could see them both without consequences, but she knew that was too risky, especially for her.

She sighed and took a long sip of her coffee. It was now almost cold. She turned towards the window again and saw Olivia walking towards the coffee bar.

She jumped from her booth and ran outside to greet Olivia. "Olivia! How are you?" She said sweeping the detective into a hug.

"I'm good. How about you? Wanna go inside? Elliot should be here soon."

"Yeah sure." Alex said leading her to her booth.

Olivia sat down "So how was the stint in Washington?"

"Cold. Wet. Boring. You know. The trifecta."

Olivia laughed, "Yeah. Poor thing. I'm guessing you didn't agree with suburban life?"

"Hell no! It was more awful than Christmas with the whole Cabot family! Gossip and rumours. I slept with the bankers secretary and the whole town sure heard about that!"

"Male or female?"

"What do you think?"

Olivia shook her head, "Wow Alex. You managed to snag a chick while in Witness Protection. I don't think good old Trev will be happy."

Alex laughed "No I don't think so. After that none of the women would speak to me and I got kicked out of the book club. Damn shame that was."

"So, erm, how have things been since you've been back?"

"Crap." Alex blurted, "I wanted my old job back, so they give me a better one. I still feel like people are following me. Everywhere. Threatening me. I feel scared Livvy. I'm scared of what might happen to me. I'm scared of having to leave again. Or of dying. I don't want to die Livvy." Alex began to cry desperately.

Olivia crossed the table and put her arms around Alex pulling her in closely, "I'll always be there to protect you Alex. Always."

"I know you will be Liv. I know you will."

________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile Elliot Stabler stood watching the scene through the window. He knew he needed to, but he couldn't get the strength to grab his partner and pull her out of there.

He should've known this would be what he was up against when he fell for a bisexual woman. He couldn't compete with Alex or Casey. Nor any woman.

He shook his head, began to cry and walked back to his car.


	3. Forgiven

**A/N-Chapter 3.**

**I'd like to dedicate this to my Mum whom I love. I love you Mum!**

**I still don't own the characters though, which sucks balls, so to speak.**

**The chapter title-Forgiven-is of course another song. Forgiven by Within Temptation.(Love the song.)**

**Chapter 3-Forgiven**

Casey Novak swung her bat at the ball. "Oh, how good it is to work out frustration!" She thought, smiling. This week had been hell for her. It was good that Alex had come back, but she wasn't who you would want for a boss. Especially when you're trying to decide between her and another woman.

She straightened up her posture and lined up to bat again. She was only hitting half the balls and even then they were pretty crap shots. She thanked God the game wasn't this week and swung. She cheered. First good shot all day.

Coach would've been disappointed with her performance today. He always said she let too much of her emotions into the game. Well actually most people said that. Even Alex said that.

Casey sighed as she let her mind take a trip down memory lane. Law school. 1989. She remembered the day she met Alex. She was walking up to her new dorm when she saw a blonde girl unlocking the room. "Um excuse me?" Casey asked, "What are you doing unlocking my dorm?"

"It's my dorm too, you know. See?" The girl replied pointing to a name tag on the door.

"So you're Alexandra Cabot?" Casey kept pressing.

Alex met Casey's eyes defiantly "Why yes I am. And I'm guessing you're too rude to......."

Casey interrupted "Casey. Casey Novak. Freshman."

"I'm sharing my room with a freshman?!"

Casey was shocked "Excuse me? Just because I'm a freshman doesn't mean I'm any less of a person than you are." Casey looked Alex up and down. "I'm guessing you would be a sophomore. Unless you're trying to cover up the fact you're a freshman."

"I would not do no such thing!" Alex retorted striding into the dorm, Casey chuckling behind her.

It wasn't the last of such exchanges but soon it began to change. They became friends then, after one drunk night, lovers. She was the first girl that Casey ever took home.

That was a neighbourhood scandal. The Novak daughter was gay! None of her family would speak to her for years after that. She was still trying to get in contact with her mother.

Not that she hadn't tried.

When her and Olivia were dating Olivia turned up at the Novak's doorstep and asked them to forgive Casey. Casey thought it was the most romantic thing which ever happened to her. Well actually it probably was.

Olivia was always the hopeless romantic. Roses, nearly everyday. Beautiful dinners, whether prepared by her or going out. The special visits and deliveries made Casey feel so special and loved. Things which she had never felt before. With Alex the love was passionate and taboo while with Olivia it was special but normal. Olivia made her feel unashamed for who she was. Made her feel like she was worth everything she did.

She was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a woman clearing her throat behind her. She turned around. "M-Mother?"

"Casey."

"What are you doing here? I guess you didn't just come to watch me swing?"

"Look Casey. I came to say that I forgive you."

Casey was angry. "What do you need to forgive me for? All I did was try to be myself. And then when you couldn't accept that I tried to make amends. If anything I should be forgiving you."

The woman began to cry. "I'm sorry Casey. It's just hard for me to do this. I really am sorry. You're my daughter. I love you. I hope you can forgive me."

Casey ran and hugged her. "I can. I love you mum."


	4. Do You Want to Know a Secret?

**A/N Yes I know this chapter is short but I couldn't figure out any other way to lengthen it.**

**Poor, poor Elliot.**

**I dedicate this one to Shipper4Life, thanks so much for the review!**

**Title song's by the Beatles. Gotta love the Beatles :). If you don't like the Beatles please know I will get Abbie Carmichael on your arse.**

**Thanks and can I please say again poor, poor Elliot!**

**Decision Making Chapter 4-Do You Want to Know a Secret?**

Elliot sat at the desk across from his partner Olivia. She seemed upset and tense. Her hair was all over the place and she looked like she hadn't slept in days. "Liv. You seem tense. What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing."

"Come on," he gently prodded, "Is it Alex and Casey?"

Olivia nodded "Yeah. You know. This decisions eating the hell out of me."

"Well here. Eat the hell out of this donut!" Elliot joked lamely.

Olivia laughed, taking the donut, "Thanks El." She smiled, "Vanilla glazed."

"That's your favourite isn't it?" Elliot nervously asked.

"Yeah it certainly is." Olivia smiled again. "So how have you been anyway?"

"Yeah I've been okay."

"Okay? What's up? Kathy? The kids?" Olivia pried.

"Na."

"Well then what is it?" Olivia pried further.

"Do you really want to know?" He asked.

"Yes I do El. I'm your partner. I'll always be there for you, which will be a lot easier if I actually know what's going on in your mind. So, what is it?" She asked, looking straight into his eyes.

Elliot looked her straight in the eyes, her big, brown, honest eyes, and blurted the truth. He was scared. He knew it could destroy their friendship and their partnership and potentially get him kicked off the squad, but he didn't care. He just wanted her to know. "You."

Suddenly he stood up and ran out of the building leaving a stunned Olivia in his wake.


	5. Silence

**A/N-I actually wrote this as Alex at first but then I changed it to Casey. Sorry if it doesn't make much sense. Tell me what you think. Do you think I should leave it Casey or change it to Alex?**

**This chapter is devoted to my physics teacher. Thanks for the C you idiot.**

**This chapter is called Silence. No song. Just silence.**

**Chapter 5-Silence.**

Casey kicked off her shoes as she walked through the front door. "What a day", she thought, "What a day."

She hit the button on her answering machine and sat down to listen. A message from her Mum, a message from Elliot, a message from Lola and then finally a message from Alex. "Hey Case. Was just wondering if maybe you wanted to go for dinner sometime. It could be us, or did you maybe want to invite Livvy? Call me."

Casey's heart was pounding. Although she knew Alex was back she hadn't actually spoken to her yet. She was scared. Scared of confrontation. Scared of change. Scared of how she felt about Alex.

Three hours later Casey still hadn't rang Alex back. She had procrastinated as long as possible. She had worked on files, done dishes, read a book and hell, even dusted! But yet she still hadn't rang.

Finally, telling herself not to be so stupid, she picked up the phone and dialled the number.

"You have reached Alexandra Cabot. I am unable to come to the phone right now. Please leave your name and message after the beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep."

"Um.... Hey Alex. It's Casey...."

The phone clicked as Alex picked it up, "Case! I'm guessing you got my message before."

Casey was stunned. She had never heard Alex give such an informal and cheerful greeting before. "Yeah, I'm up for dinner."

"Great! How about Saturday?"

"Yeah. Saturday's great."

"Do you want to invite Olivia?"

"Yeah. Sure. I'll ask her."

"Brilliant! How about the Spaghetti Tree? I can make reservations for 7.30. Table for three?"

"Yeah. Sure. Can't wait."

"So how are you anyway? Haven't seen you in a while."

Casey laughed, "Yeah. It's only been two years. I've been pretty good. Case prep at the moment mainly. So how have you been?"

Alex sighed, "Okay," she said flatly, "Still hard finding my way around."

Casey sensed she meant something more than Manhattan's streets, "Yeah. A lot's changed."

There was a small pause.

"Alex. I'm sorry. For everything that's happened. I love you."

"I love you too."

They fell silent, overwhelmed with emotion.

Finally the silence broke.

Casey began to cry.


	6. Alone

**A/N Sorry guys. I had a case of writers block. The next chapter will be up soon though. I promise. :)**

**If this isn't historically correct I'm sorry. TV1 is only halfway through season 8 (Olivia's just come back) and I can't find the DVD anywhere. (I own 1,2,5,6 and 9. Yeah my viewing is out a bit.)**

**I'm going to dedicate this chapter to Your-hollywood-tragedy-Thankyou so much :)**

**This chapter doesn't have a song but I've called it Alone.**

**So here it is-Alone**

Olivia was stunned at Elliot's sudden outburst.

"What the hell?" she asked Fin, who was sitting at the desk beside her.

Fin slowly looked up at Olivia and shrugged, "No idea."

Olivia sat back down in her chair. She was angry. If he really loved her he was three years too late. Three years she suffered. She was finally going to tell him she loved him when she came back from her undercover work. She thought that maybe something could happen or at least he could know she loved him.

Then she came back. Found him obsessing over Dani Beck. She was furious. She knew that bitches game. She'd watched it many other times. Hell, she'd even played it herself!

She thought his obsession would go away. He'd stop. He'd figure out what was more important. But he didn't.

Until he got back with his wife.

Olivia began to cry. She thought she was over him. Time had healed all wounds. Well the floodgates had finally opened. Grabbing her coat off the rack by the door she ran out the door.

She needed time alone. She ran across the street. There was a cafe on the other side. She ordered a long white with three sugars and sat at a table near the back.

"Well, well. Hello detective." A voice came from the aisle.

Olivia looked up, "Good afternoon Judge Clark. How is everything?"

Judge Clark sat down in the seat across from her, "Please don't call me Judge Clark. It's Mary outside of work."

Olivia was stunned. She knew Mary was Casey's aunt, but even when she met her she still had to call her Judge Clark. "So Mary, How are you?"

"Well I was just about to ask you the same thing. I've heard a little bit about what's happening from Casey but I want to hear the story."

Olivia took a deep breath. She did not want to do this. Especially not to a judge! "Okay," she settled herself, "Alex is back and I still love Casey and Elliot has just declared his undying love for me."

Mary whistled, "In English my child."

"Okay." She breathed, "Alex has come back, I still love Casey and Elliot has declared his undying love for me."

Mary whistled again. "You know Liv. I never thought I'd say this but maybe you should give it all a break."

Olivia was stunned "What?"

Mary looked straight at her "Maybe it's not what you need right now. You might not need a relationship. Think it over."

Mary stood up and walked to the counter. She paid the cheque and left the cafe, leaving Olivia where she thought she wanted to be. Alone.


	7. Dinner With Auntie Mary

**A/N I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY! I thought I had uploaded this but I hadn't. Whoops. My bad.**

**What do you think?**

**The end is near :( probably five or six more chapters left.**

**After this is finished though I will be uploading a new fic called _Love Letters. _It's Caseycentric and follows the beginning of a relationship between Casey and Olivia.**

**Don't own anyone :( Sucks Bugs Bunnies.**

**Thanks to all who read and review.:) Love you guys.**

Chapter 7-Dinner with Auntie Mary.

Casey walked into the restaurant and sat down across from Mary. "Auntie Mary." She greeted her with a smile.

"Evening Casmira." Mary said, "Wet out there? Should've bought an umbrella."

Casey laughed as she patted her hair down. "Yeah. Bucketing down. So what are you going to have tonight?"

"Fillet Mignon as usual. How about you?"

"I was thinking perhaps a pasta dish."

"Wise choice. So Casey. Relationship troubles I hear."

Casey looked at Mary, stunned, "How did you know?"

"You told me. I ran into Olivia today also. She tells me a very similar story."

Casey was curious, "What did she say?"

"Nothing which is of interest to you."

Casey looked pleadingly at her aunt who just smiled and bent down to pick up her handbag. "Oh Casey. You're not five anymore. You can stop whinging and whining like a toddler."

Casey's face turned red as she muttered "Sorry Aunt Mary."

"That's okay. Wine?"

"Sure. So what do you think I should do?"

"About what?" Mary teased.

Casey rolled her eyes, "About my relationship worries."

"You really want to know?"

"Yes."

"Sure?"

"Yes! Just tell me!"

Mary breathed in slowly. "I believe you should just give up."

Casey was confused. "What the hell? Just give up?"

"Yes. Take sometime alone. Figure out what you want. Figure out who you want."

Casey was amazed. She had never thought of that before. It might be good. Figure out what she wanted, not just out of relationships, but out of life as well. Start writing again. Spend some time by herself. The more she was thinking about it, the better it looked.

"You know what. You're right. I might do that."

"Good, good."

"_Brinnnnnnnnng, Brinnnnnnnng, If we catch a criminal, when we catch a criminal, there's nothing we can do, except play cops and robbers, cops and robbers."_

Mary looked at her niece "Phone."

Casey took it out of her bag and answered. "Novak?"

"_It's Stabler. We need you down at the precinct. Need a warrant."_

"Yeah, warrant. Sure thing. Be there in five."

She turned to her Aunt. "Listen. I'm sorry but I gotta go. Bye." She threw some money on the table and ran out of the restaurant.


	8. Sergeant Crankypants

**A/N I am SO SO SO SORRY about the long delay!**

**I really backed myself into a corner with the last one!**

**Thankyou so much for all of the reviews! It's been so brilliant having such positive feedback.**

**I hope this chapter doesn't throw you all back too much. **

**Don't own no one yet again.**

**Love to all!**

Casey half ran through the squad room doors. "I'm sorry I'm late guys." she muttered throwing a piece of paper onto Elliot's desk.

"That's okay." Elliot snarked, "You only got us half an hour behind schedule. No biggie." He picked up his coat and left leaving Olivia and Casey standing in his wake.

"What's up his arse?" Casey asked putting her coat on the back of Olivia's chair.

"Leave it alone." Olivia growled, fire burning in her eyes.

Casey backed off. "Okay. Okay. Just asking! No need to get so snarky!"

Olivia looked at her menacingly. "No need to be such a bitch." Not even stopping to put on her coat she turned and walked out of the squadroom.

Fin walked over to Casey and put his hand on her shoulder. "Sorry for Sergeant Crankypants and Miss PMS. They've been like this all day."

Casey looked up at him. "What's up anyway?"

Fin patted her shoulder. "We don't know. All we know is they both stormed out earlier today."

"Okay." Casey replied, unsure of what he meant.

Fin saw the uncertainty on her face. "Don't worry about it. They'll be fine."

Munch came over to them and cracked a lame joke. Once he was sure Casey was alright he left them to their own devices.

They stood, Fin's hand on Casey's shoulder, for fifteen minutes until Alex Cabot came through the door.

"Yo!" Fin cried out to her.

"Hey Fin, Munch, Casey! Casey can I have a chat to you for a second?"

"Sure!" Casey replied, confusion spreading across her face. "What do you need?"

"I'll talk to you about it in there." Alex stated opening the door to Cragen's office.

Once they were in there Alex seated herself on the desk and cleared her throat. "Casey. I don't know whether you'll like this. I hope you will. Don't worry though I haven't told them about us."

Casey was getting more puzzled by the second. What the hell did Alex have to say? Why the hell wouldn't she like it?

Alex took a long breath. "For this case Arthur's made me your second chair."

Casey opened her mouth and then closed it again.

Alex nodded knowing what she meant. Even though it was a massive help and in some ways a compliment, getting a second chair was seen in legal circles as being a demotion. It looked like you couldn't handle anything on your own.

Casey opened her mouth again. She smiled. "Welcome to the team Ms. Cabot."

Alex smiled and shook Casey's hand. "What do you mean welcome? I was here before you were."


End file.
